Flu Shots Today!

Have you ever worked in an emergency room and held down an out of control maniac tripping on PCP?  That's what it is like holding down my autistic son when it is time for him to receive any kind of vaccine.  No.  I take that back.  It is easier to deal with the guy whacked out of his mind on drugs.  My son has the strength of at least two grown men when he is afraid of something. 

My son is big.  My son is strong.  And my son is loud.  Oh so loud.  There were many nights when he was very small, that I would get up and make sure that the house was neat and tidy because I was certain the police would be knocking at my door to make sure I was not peeling the flesh off of his body just for fun.  He was that loud. 

My son was crying and yelling even before entering the doctor's office.  As we walked inside the office, I can only equate it to the parting of the Red Sea. The staff moves very quickly. Children in the waiting room hide their faces in their mother's arms.  Even though we did not tell my son in advance where we were taking him, he knows what is ahead.  We are whisked away into a room ahead of other waiting children, which frankly seems to bother no one.  My son is now cursing as well as screaming.  His sister is dying a slow death and praying that like the wicked witch from The Wizard of Oz, she could simply melt away into the ugly spotted tiled floor.

Before leaving us alone for a few moments so that she may prepare the flu shot, the nurse tries to calm my son which only enrages him and causes further screaming along with curse words that would make a seasoned barfly blush.  The nurse tries to manage a smile and makes a speedy exit while I keep my son's hands out of striking range from her face.  This autistic mom has developed superhero reflexes.

Several loud and anxious minutes pass before the nurse returns trying to conceal the impending injection that my son will be on the receiving end of.  She looks at me and then at my husband and asks "how we are going to do this today?"  Being seasoned pros at holding him down, we have a system.  It is simply a matter of both of us throwing our combined body weights over his and each one grabbing an arm!  We wrestle the boy into a chair.  (I can do this because I took two multivites today, plus an iron tablet!) I throw my weight over him first covering the lower and less active portion of his anger crazed body.  I grab one arm.  My husband (who is a large and very strong man) then manages to immobilize the upper half of our son's body and somehow lock the section of upper arm destined to receive the flu shot today into place.  The nurse moves fast.  The boy is now a shade of red from screaming that resembles an over ripe tomato.  She goes in for the kill.  My son is calling her names that I am sure she does not even hear on cable, and in the blink of an eye it is over.  We all tell him it is ok.  He can stop screaming now.  It is over.  He does not hear us.

After telling him this several times, he realizes that it is in fact.....over.  He can stop screaming.  I thank the nurse and praise her for being so fast and brave.  She has dealt with our son for about ten years now.  She wipes the sweat off her brow and smiles a truly exhausted smile and exits the exam room. 

Looking at my son I see that during his state of panic and rage he has blown a shoe.  My husband helps him put the shoe back on as I wipe the tears from his face.  I pull a juice box out from my handbag and give it to him knowing his throat must be on fire from all the screaming he has done.  We  make our way down the hall to the back door and exit the office in a far less intrusive fashion then our arrival a few minutes earlier.

With the children in the car, my husband and I look at each other and agree that we are too old to keep going through this.  (Well, my husband is anyway.)  It is very quiet in the car as my husband pulls out of the parking lot.  Our daughter, still mortified is plugged into her ipod.  I am too tired to speak.  My husband just wants to get home.  Silence.  Then my son speaks.  "How about you take me to Barnes and Noble now for a new book since I was so good at the doctor's?"

And that my friends was flu shot day.