A Day with My Allergist

So today, having little or no incident with my little monster children in getting them off to school,  I myself had an appointment with my allergist.  I saw him last month when he ordered allergy testing via blood draw.  I had that done three weeks ago and today went in to see if I was in fact allergic to anything.

I am, to say the least......not a good patient.  Or, as my husband says I am not a brave little soldier!  I admit it.  Doctors give my the creeps.  I associate only two things with doctors.  Death and dying.  And I have been suffering from both of these conditions for about 35 years now.  So, today as I waited in the exam room listening to the sounds of a very busy allergy practice all around me,  I wondered just how long it would be before my heart attacked me today?

I checked my pulse.  Yes.  Good I still have a pulse.  Rapid and strong.  Rapid!  Oh God not rapid!  I can't deal with rapid.  I'm a slow and steady heartbeat kind of gal.  My internist says I suffer from early beats.  Early?  I want them to be right on time!  Not early or late!  Then just as I begin to check my neck for yet a different pulse, my doctor walks in.

I guess my heart attack will have to wait until later.

So apparently after reviewing five pages of test results, I am allergic to a boatload of trees, grasses, molds and animals.  Animals!  Dogs and cats.  Cats!  Not to my beloved Hermoine!  I love my cat.  Especially since she hates my husband!  I keep telling my husband that when I am old (OK, I mean really old!) I wish to become one of those cat ladies with at least 17 cats running all over the house!  So I cannot really be allergic to my dream, can I?  Oh crap.

He prescribes various medications as I breathe into a machine that simulates the popping of balloons and I am told to return in four weeks.  If these medications don't work I shall have to begin allergy shots.  No, no, no.  Needles?  Seriously?  I am certain that all these wonderful medications will in fact work!  I am counting on it!

I leave, still worried about my early beats, with samples and lab results in hand get in my SUV and head (of course) directly to Dunkin Donuts.  Today's trauma calls for the drive thru.  I am much to emotional to actually get myself back out of the car.  An extra large Real Woman coffee ought to do it!  I mean as long as I am still here and all.